Previously in Beyond Pain: After discussing 'the secret nature of pain' in Pt. 1 and giving some examples, stated that, however bad the post-surgery physical pain I experienced so far might've felt, contrary to some other effects it's nothing I wouldn't get over soon enough (Pt. 2).
To me, what was really frightening, was e.g. the part about the surgeon asking 'Can you feel this?' and then clipping the dead wound lips off without me noticing anything! Not to mention the handsome necrotic part at the back of my head. Or, after finally having it cut off too, but without replacing it yet by another skin graft, me walking round for a week with this huge hole under the bandage and still feeling nothing really at all.
(As already linked here, and below again.)
Now, that's what I call creepy.
Well, guess them nerves just having transmitted about all of the pain they were capable of before eventually quitting, so at least on this front not really too much to complain about. Plus, parts dying on an else alive and aware body having had a specially terrifying meaning in my life for decades (but into which, of course, I won't go further here and now). Still, what really keeps buggerin' me is this:
Though my grafted parts seem to regain some minimal sense of touch, they're by worlds not as sensitive as before. And while this probably still being perfectly ok to warn me from incoming damage, they're just nearly incapable of transporting anything nice, if you know what I mean.
So far, so bad (though actually not to be expected much differently, I guess).
And even the parts that recovered rsp. didn't die on me too in the end, though mostly even growing some hair back again, still feel kinda numb almost like the grafted parts and didn't improve again really.
Which is what I do call a bummer.
Am sure you e.g. know this special way of kissing, holding each other only softly at the back of the head with the fingertips. (Of course there's other nice things, too, but still nothing quite like it.)
Always really enjoyed this way of being touched. Well, not so much anymore, actually. At least not behind my right ear.
Though, guess all in all still have to consider myself lucky. Like always, could be much worse, now couldn't it?
Well, definitely. Like e.g. having no more feeling in my lips, I'd say. (The ones of my mouth, I mean.)
(to be continued)