Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Why I'm happy in the woods

Just catched the express train to Berne for another show. Local train to the mainstation was bloody late, so I'm quite relieved just having made it.

Tomorrow it's back to the beautyfarm for another skingraft. Means last day I'm able to enjoy leaving the flat and doing at least some of the other stuff one usually takes for granted till suddenly for one reason or another it's not anymore.

Lately even was allowed to go for some walks in the woods up behind the housing estate again. (Am afraid definitely spoils having such a thing just around the corner, but still being able to pedal into the city in 20 min -- if you're able / allowed doing so, that is).

Really enjoy going there, moving and breathing under all those trees. Especially at dusk or in the night (though the latter's nicer in winter when everything's white and bright from snow in moonlight, but that's another story). Usually more to run and do exercises, though.

Now always went not too long before sunset. Just like after the first surgery in march, before the whole mess started hitting the fan. First walking some into the hill as fast and hard and far as I'm allowed to. Then arriving at this spot with a nice view just in time to watch the sun kissing the horizon and going down. Looking at all those beautiful colours changing slowly. Taking in the fields and villages, the soft, wooded hills. And of course the sky and everything it shows. First ime I was able going there again, just had to cry.

Then, walking back again through the fields, towards the full moon, rising. Perfect.

Pain is quite moderate and perfectly bearable at the moment, though sometimes annoying. Am off painkillers again for almost a week now. Surgeon said the wounds from placing/removing the implants (not to mention rinsing out and desinfecting the cavities ...) are healing well for a change, and also the one still needing the grafting doing fine. Even said he'll be able to make it a bit smaller again before grafting.

Seems all of the wounds working in shifts now making themselves noticed, which of course is nicer than all of them at once and always. Most unpleasant of all feel the cavities themselves, where he'd removed the scalp from the muscles above the skull, now obviously also growing back on again. Feels a bit like I was wearing a tight cap always, sometimes the different areas also hurt a bit, and generally are very sensible. Specially with the heat outside on now, also give me slight headaches, too (no, Dr Surgeon, still won't take any aspirin stuff again, no sir).

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